HOW I LOST MYSELF WHEN I “HAD IT ALL”
On paper, everything looked perfect. I had accepted a new job with outstanding pay in a bigger city, moved into a luxury apartment, and earned a new title with more responsibility, one that made me feel important and accomplished. I was stepping into a leadership role that many would call a success story.
But beneath the surface, things were falling apart.
The onboarding I received was not rushed, but it was far from impactful. It didn’t prepare me for the complex and heavy responsibilities that awaited. I wasn’t necessarily expected to learn on the fly, but I had to because the training promised to equip me simply didn’t.
What broke me wasn’t just the workload, it was the contradictions and lack of control within that workload. I held a title with significant responsibility but no final say over the tasks I was held accountable for. I regularly worked 12-plus hour days and was told bluntly, “You signed up for the long hours.”
One summer, it was just me and one other employee doing the work of a full team of ten. Despite being so understaffed, we consistently performed above average compared to other teams that had full staffing and support.
After I was able to successfully hire a full team, we began breaking milestones never met before within the workplace. My organizational skills and customer service led to being asked to host major events, and others with the same job title often came to me asking about my thought process and ideas.
I faced accusations that felt unfair in situations where I was only trying to do my job. I pushed for goals that would benefit the entire organization and drove major improvements in key areas, yet received little to no support. I handled high-stress situations calmly and collectively, yet never heard a simple “thank you.”
I was in charge of hiring my own staff but was also told who I could and couldn’t hire. I was micromanaged on tasks that were not fully aligned with my role. At one point, I was written up and threatened with termination over a situation I wasn’t trained to handle. I reached out to the person who was actually responsible for those situations for help and followed their guidance, but despite that, I still faced the write-up and threat of termination.
I dealt with difficult clients who blamed me simply because they wanted convenience, even when it meant going against established procedures.
Through it all, the most painful part was the overwhelming sense that no one supported me or even cared until I mentioned that I wanted to leave.
I looked in the mirror one day and barely recognized the person staring back. Not because I had lost a title or a paycheck, but because I had lost myself.
This experience taught me a hard truth: having it all on paper means nothing if it comes at the cost of your identity, your health, and your peace.
I chose to stop running on empty. I chose to listen to my body and mind, to reclaim control through motion not as punishment, but as healing.
That choice gave birth to Meza Motion, a space where movement is medicine, and where progress is measured in steps toward self-respect and resilience, not in titles or to-do lists.
If any part of this feels familiar, smiling through the pain and hurt, achieved while quietly aching, or lost yourself chasing a version of “success” that left you empty: I want you to know you’re not alone. You don’t have to keep burning to prove you’re worthy. There is another way forward. One built on self-trust, movement, and the courage to begin again. When you're ready, Meza Motion is here to walk with you.
